Jungle Justice: Teenager who stole chicken paraded naked

This happened in the Ikorodu area of Lagos state, where a flock of the birds were tied around his neck like a noose.

Daily Post News reported that the incident occurred on Christmas day.

The boy, whose name has not been disclosed had a blood stained eye brow which he sustained from the beating he received from the mob

Merry Christmas! Happy Festivus!

There is a guy in my neighborhood that puts out a Festivus pole in front of his house every year. It's on a busy street, just a couple blocks up from a Catholic church, so he knows what he's about. I appreciate that, because I reject both the bullshit religiosity and the bullshit commercialism that typifies most Christmas events.

I remain a fan of the Winter Solstice celebration as gift exchange (and because it's fun when the days start trending brighter), and also the reminder that you should do something nice for people you care about, maybe take some time to sit with them and enjoy that experience. Or punish yourself and hang out with family members and in laws that you don't like. Up to you.

Whatever you end up doing I hope you had a good 2016, and that 2017 makes you rich in happiness and friendship.

RIP 'Smart' Watches

I'll just leave this here:

http://gizmodo.com/smartwatches-are-dying-because-they-are-worthless-1790001341

With some tags so that it's easier to find later: iphone / apple / apple watch / smart watch / I don't find these articles / they find me

Smart Watches Remain Poop, and Skateboarding is Rad

//Edited to fix the text glitch. HTML oopsie.//

This skate video is insane. There are so many out of this world tricks that you get numb to it after a while. Almost. Enjoy.

Big shout to Big Cheese for sharing the video. But also, he writes:

while i agree with you that the smart watch is unappealing in every way, this sounds a lot like your abhorrence of smart phones. 

regardless, I got a hand-me-down g-shock about 10 years ago, and with a new band the thing is pretty amazing

Yes! My loathing of 'smart' watches has a lot of overlap with my well-documented loathing of 'smart' phones. Part of this is my general luddite attitude, and part of it is rebellion against inaccurate language, and part of it is a simple rejection of a shit product.

My luddite attitude is a bit overstated. I heart the technology as much or more than the next guy. It pays the bills! (As I type this I'm listening to music on my iPhone via Soundcloud. With proper headphones you can dodge much of the bullshittery associated with your smartphone. It's nice! Good thing apple didn't fuck that up. Oh wait. Very courageous. Seriously. Courage.) Inaccurate language is important - 'smart' phones are not really phones, and 'smart' watches are not really watches. Both are computers, and while the phone really is a revolutionary gadget the smartwatch is lame junk. Someday it may not be so lame, like when the battery lasts for more than 12 hours or it replaces your phone altogether. 

My other spicy hot beef with these products is that 'smart' watches violate most of the principles of good design. What are they good for? Not much. They aren't good computers, and they aren't good watches. There is no reason to buy one unless you cannot look at your phone. Save your money. Or buy something that isn't shit, and wear it with the warming knowledge that you're a jackass that REALLY knows how to waste money on prestige brands.

Smart Watches are Poop

Excellent Photograph of a Beautiful Instrument

I went in on 'smart' watches a while back. My position has not changed (nor will it, until the product utility improves and/or the price comes down) but it is interesting to know that the products themselves are not proving very popular with consumers. It's almost like people recognize that they are overpriced trash. Weird.

You were probably (not) wondering what a truly smart watch looks like. Any Casio Calculator would be good, and what lack in water resistance is more than made up for by the ability to do maths on a verrrrry tiny keypad and screen. Plus all the ladies will love you.

There are watches that function as an altimeter, watches that are designed to survive the nuclear apocalypse, and watches that just tell the time, but do so very elegantly ($20 for that watch is great).

Thanks to the power of ye olde intertubez it is possible to get small runs of watches made with Miyota movements, such as this affordable model with no branding whatsoever. That's some straight underground shit right there! Robust, classic design in a tidy package sounds very smart to me.

If you want to go upmarket then the Omega Speedmaster Professional (pictured) has a stopwatch and a clever little tachometer on the front. I'm not convinced of the utility of either feature but it's forebear was the first watch on the moon, and it remains the very definition of 'classic design' and still looks the business. Supposedly they use digital watches on all US space missions and have for years but they still bring these analog watches anyway, just in case. I'm not sure I believe that, but it sounds like something you can tell your well heeled associates at your working lunch.

Any one of these remains a better value than a 'smart' watch, so get out there and tell people what time it is.

MTN is Giving Out Free MB To Customers

I just discovered that MTN is giving free MB to their subscribers.

To check your data
Just dial *559*4#

If you didn't see any bonus, just recharge hundred naira and check again

You will be given 2 separate MB

Goodluck!

What's Better Than Kittens? Nothing!

Ugh Stop It Already

Maybe a kitten and his hunky owner. You can decide for yourself.

Blah blah royal navy pilot found a kitten stowed away in his bumper (!!) and of course the place the kitten feels most comfortable sleeping is in his flight helmet and of course he's ridiculously photogenic and of course his squadron mascot is a tiger and ughhhh kittens and navy pilots and ohh lordy men in uniform and is that stubble even regulation what the hell?

Kittens are better than puppies every time. True fact. Dogs are great, but puppies are a nightmare.

Flan is Yummy and Sort of Easy

Pictured: Hassle

I mentioned that I made some treats. Aside from pumpkin pie and apple pie and samoa cookies (twice) and brownies and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I also made a flan. It turned out pretty good. I ate half of it and gave the rest to my peeps that I shared the samoas with. They live walking distance and they have small kids so they're often home and (importantly) they don't mind if I show up with desserts that I already ate a generous portion of, as with the flan. Best kind of peeps.

Getting the caramel right is the hardest part of making a flan. I made a mexican flan with the lechera sweetened condensed milk so the custard part was a breeze. Making the caramel was a bitch. Fortunately I had the advantage of having eaten hundreds and hundreds of examples of flan over the years so I had a pretty good idea what I was aiming for with the caramel.

Took a picture of the finished product but the coating was the real magic. That's the goods right there. Gaze upon it in wonder.

Football Tragedy: Brazilian Football Club Players killed In Plane Crash

Here’s a summary of what we know so far about the brazilian Football club plane crash:

Brazil’s president Michel Tamer has declared three days of national mourning after a plane carrying the Chapecoense football team crashed in Colombia, killing 75 people on board .

At least six people, including three players – Alan Ruschel, Jakson Follman and Zampier Neto – survived the crash. The goalkeeper Danilo was initially reported to have survived but died from his injuries, according to reports.

Two crew members – Ximena Suárez and Erwin Tumiri – and the journalist Rafael Valmorbida also survived, according to Colombia’s civil aviation authorities.
Those killed on the flight included 21 journalists travelling with the team for Chapecoense’s Copa Sudamerica finals match against Atléticao in Colombia’s second city, Medellín. The plane was en route from Bolivia to Medellín.

The plane, a British Aerospace 146 was given priority to land but did not reach the airport , according to Alfredo Bocanegra, the head of Colombia’s civil aviation authority. It lost contact with ground controllers at around midnight.

It is unclear why the plane crashed. The weather was stormy when the plane went down. There has been unconfirmed speculation that there may have been an electrical fault or that it ran out of fuel.

As the plane was made in Britain, a team from the UK’s Air Accidents Investigation Branch is sending inspectors to the crash site .

Questions have been raised about why a team request to fly direct from Brazil, instead of from Bolivia, was rejected by Brazil’s civial aviation authority.

Bad weather hampered rescue efforts, which had to be briefly suspended due to heavy rain.

Daylight images from the site showed rescue workers carrying away shrouded bodies of those killed in the crash.
Football teams across the world have been expressing their condolences .

The mayor of Medellín said the crash was “a tragedy of huge proportions”. Brazil’s president, Michel Temer, offered support and sympathy to the families of those killed.

Getting Caught Up

How was your thanksgiving? Was it good? Did you give thanks? It was a Thursday again this year (weird). Mine was good in that I got to visit with some friends that I enjoy, but not so good in that I made some pies that were merely adequate; the recipe sucked for one of them and then the other one I sacrificed so that my friends pie would turn out better. We shared filling, and she needed more filling for her pie so that it was amazing and delicious. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good. It was tough but I managed. Oh also shitty was my back went out on Thursday. I maybe aggravated it doing some boring and lame yoga poses (I don't do the zany shit any more). So I dunno. Just the cost of doing business I guess.

Did I mention that I made some treats the past couple weeks? I made some treats. It's not all about me but still: treats! Pictured here are the homemade 'samoa' cookies I got from a recipe off ye olde internet. They are no longer called samoa cookies btw, and the recipe got pulled for some unknown reason. Could be that the cookie name is culturally insensitive, or it could be that the recipe was not well vetted. It was obviously something that they built in individual parts and then gave you the quantities for those successful recipes; not much care was given to the amounts relative to one another.

Aside from not being well written, the recipe did not make nearly enough cookie dough relative to the enormous amount of caramel/coconut mixture, and then I needed about 2x as much chocolate as they suggested. In other words it was about what I would expect from a recipe that I got from a popular  internet site that puts shortcuts in almost everything. (Biscuit dough from a can is a regular ingredient.) Upside: The price was right and everything turned out well enough, all things considered.

Photo is from the second iteration because I had enough filling/topping to make a second batch. All I had to do was make more cookies, which was pretty easy since I didn't bother with the doughnut shape cookie called for in the traditional samoa. Rolling and cutting and baking all this was enough of a hassle. Plus it made spreading the topping on a little easier. I ended up sharing most of these with my peeps. They probably took them to work; it ended up being a lot of dense cookie by the end. I could barely eat three or four at a time like I usually do.

Happy Thanksgiving

Enjoy your day.

LISTS OF THE SELECTED CANDIDATES FOR N-Power IS OUT (Check)

Good evening, and welcome to my blog, we just recieved a notice from Npower of the lists of selected candidates

To check if you were selected in the first phase of the NPower programme, please log on to
https://portal.npower.gov.ng/apply/selected.php
and type in the phone number you registered with.

Congratulations once again to the 200,000 applicants!

#NPowerNG

RELEVANT BOI LOAN DOCUMENTS FOR MICRO/LARGE ENTERPRISE

Relevant Documents Checklist
Micro CreditSME/Large Enterprise

1.Formal Letter of Application

2.Photocopy of Certificate of Registration

3.Constitution and Bye-laws of Cooperative Society (only for Cooperative Societies)

4.Business Plan

5.Four (4) passport photographs of the Promoter (business owner)

6.Photocopy of the Current Tax Clearance Certificate of the Business Enterprise and the Promoter.

7.Photocopy of International Passport or Driver’s License or National Identity Card of the Promoter.

8.Bank Statement of the Business Enterprise for a period of one (1) year (for existing business).

9.Sales record for six (6) months and operating expenses.

10.Evidence of availability of Collateral Security (e.g. landed property, Individual Guarantor, etc.).

1.Formal Letter of Application

2.Photocopies of Certificate of Incorporation and Certified True Copy of Memorandum and Articles of Association of the Company.

3.Photocopies of the Certified True Copy of Forms C02 and C07.

4.Business Plan.

5.Photocopy of title documents to project site (Statutory Certificate of Occupancy or Deed of Assignment).

6.Photocopy of Title Documents (Statutory Certificate of Occupancy or Deed of Assignment) to the Collateral Security. (This must be a landed property in an urban center).

7.Approved Building Plan (If new building).

8.Bill of Quantities or Contractor’s Estimate of Cost to be incurred on Factory Building.

9.Valuation Reports on Factory Building(s) (for existing projects) and property offered as Collateral Security.

10.Quotations for items of plant and machinery (at least 3 quotations from different sources).

11.Three (3) years most recent Audited Accounts of the company (for existing company).

12.Three (3) years most recent Tax Clearance Certificate for the Company and two (2) Directors.

13.Four (4) recent passport photographs of each of the two Directors and the Company Secretary.

14.Evidence of appointment of a Company

Colin Nissan is a True Hero for Our Time: Decorative Gourd Season

It's that time of year again! That's right, it's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers. I'm ready. Are you ready? I SAID ARE YOU FUCKING READY? Get fucking ready because it's called Decorative Fucking Gourd Season for a reason, motherfuckers.

Usually this time of year is above average. I hear Fall is lovely in certain parts of the country. Recent events may have crushed dampened your spirit somewhat, but that's no reason to throw in the towel on Decorative Gourd Season. Now more than ever it is essential to fight the good fight. Do not let unrepentant asshats normalize aberrant behavior, and by that I mean fuck gluten free vegan desserts right into the goddamn trash where they belong. What did you think I meant?

Are you lonely and depressed and disappointed and disillusioned? Me either! So I'm going to give this playlist a try, make some desserts. It might be good. It might be rubbish! There's no knowing until you give it a listen. It's like a metaphor for life in that way. First track is very strong, so start there, and see where it takes you. If that's not doing anything for you then maybe try and take a nap.

See you out there.

Fundraisers: Wade's Army

Me in a t-shirt / Meredith is festive in a cape (She's rad like that)

My gym participates in a fundraiser every year for Wade's Army. It's a good cause, and the group that organizes it donates their time and resources so that all of the money they raise goes to families or groups that support the families with housing or resources. This is important, because most of the money donated to charity goes to the overhead associated with running a business, which is why most charities end up spending more money on marketing than they do on actual support.

So if you didn't already have enough commitments and were interested in supporting an organization that helps families with children that are battling neuroblastoma, then you can go here and make a contribution. If you sign up for the mailing list you can donate next year and get a free t-shirt (weights and man-tights not included*).



* It's very important to stay warm during workouts. Science.

8 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE APPLY FOR BANK OF INDUSTRY LOAN

WELCOME TO THE BANK OF INDUSTRY LOAN CENTER
Eight (8) things you should know before you commence your application on this platform

1.Mandate
The bank of industry targets businesses that engage in manufacturing and processing activities. Target sub-sectors include Agro-processing, Solid Minerals, Information Technology, Oil and Gas and Creative Industry. Please click here to see list of SME product clusters that BOI supports. If your product is not listed here and you think it should, please provide information on your product here for review by our technical team.

2.Entities that BOI Finances
Bank of industry only finances enterprises or companies and not an individual person or group of persons. The company / enterprise must be duly registered and you will be required to provide the registration number for a Limited Liability Company or business name for an enterprise before you can proceed with your application.

3.Items that BOI can finance
The bank is principally set up to finance industrial equipment used in manufacturing. The Bank does not finance land and building which are expected to be financed from equity. You can also access your working capital requirements from any of the ten (10) SME friendly banks that Bank of Industry partners with at Monetary Policy Rate plus 6 percent.

4.Mode of disbursement
The bank does not disburse the loan to the borrower in cash but to the vendors and suppliers of the equipment that the loan application is for.

5.Amount that can be financed by BOI
BOI’s loan support to the SME starts from N5 million. However, loan below N5 million are provided on our matching fund platform which is operated in collaboration with various state governments and on our Bottom of the Pyramid (BOP) scheme which is operated through MicroFinance Banks. Please click here to see how you can apply under the BOI matching Fund or the BOP scheme.

6.Collateral requirements
As part of the fiduciary responsibility in managing funds under its care, Bank of industry requires that you pledge some assets to secure you loan. However, the Bank also accepts other forms of security subject to adequate coverage of the loan being provided to you. Types of security the Bank accepts include:

Legal mortgage on a landed property. The property must be duly registered with - a Certificate of Occupancy
- Debenture on assets of the company
- Bank Guarantee
- External Guarantors with Notarized statement of Networth for loans below N10 million.

Please note that the Bank is willing to share assets previously pledged to other lenders provided the Bank’s loan is adequately covered in the arrangement. Also note that the Bank is willing to accept third party collateral.

7.Startup businesses
While the Bank under its general risk acceptance criteria requires a prospective borrower to have at least three years acceptable performance track record, it can also lend to start-ups at its discretion and on a case-by-case basis. A startup would need to provide proof of cognate experience in its business area and would need to have a highly qualified management and operational team with sound management structure.

8.You need to support your application with some documents
Please click here to see the list of the documents you should be prepared to upload while you apply on this platform

Remember you need to registered your company for a business loan alone.

List of Product Cluster
1. Adire (Tie and Dye)/Aso Oke
2. Animal Feeds
3. Aquaculture
4. Bakery
5. Blocks and Interlocking Stones
6. Bottled Water
7. Ceramics & Tiles
8. Chemicals and Paints
9. Cosmetics/Hair Products
10. Dairy
11. Digital Printing/Multimedia Publishing
12. Doors and Window Frames
13. E-Commerce/Information & Communications Technology (ICT)
14. Fashion/Garmenting
15. Fish Smoking/Drying
16. Food Processing (comprising processing of agricultural products)
17. Foundries/Metal Fabrication/3-D Printing
18. Fruit Juice
19. Furniture/Wood Processing
20. Gemstones
21. Greenhouses
22. Laundry and Dry Cleaning
23. Leather/Footwear
24. Liquefied Petroleum Gas/Compressed Natural Gas
25. Meat Processing
26. Mechatronics
27. Health Care (Medical Diagnostics)
28. Laboratory/Orthodontist/Ophthalmology/Physiotherapy)
29. Movie Production (Nollywood)
30. Plastics
31. Quick Service Restaurants
32. Quarries
33. Recycling
34. Roofing Sheets
35. Soaps and Detergents
36. Solar (off grid)
37. Technical/Vocational Schools (Offering City & Guild Certificate)
38. Theme Parks
39. Water Transportation Riverine
40. Light Manufacturing (Paper, Roofing Sheets, lube blending, Paints etc)
41. Grocery packaging

This is a Motorcycle

Please Build This Please Please Please

We still love fast motorcycles in this space, although tastes have changed and I now prefer bikes that won't make my back hurt just by looking at them. This bike is a concept and it looks lovely. Put a light on it and go bananas.

This motorcycle is from Honda (it's a cb1100 TR) and it has an analog from Yamaha that is already in production. Supposedly that is a pretty good bike to ride. Unfortunately it is also a bug-eyed monstrocity. (What were they thinking?)

Our Long National Nightmare Is Ov- Wait, What? Oops - Our Long National Nightmare is Just Beginning

A lot of digital ink has been spilled over the last 12 hours about Donald "Grab them by the Pussy" Trump's historic win in the presidential election. Like most sentient people that vote in elections* I have some thoughts. Let's do this!

It's hard to be too surprised that Trump won an election when you remember that this country elected George W. Bush twice. He was a historically bad leader and as a result his successor(s) lost elections to a smart, polished, charismatic senator from Illinois. Obama was 'bad' for the country in that he tried to give poor people health care and protect the environment and reduce the absurd wealth inequality that characterizes America. Along the way he encouraged / forced the country to have some difficult conversations about racism. That is to say, difficult if you are a racist, which is something that a great many people are but would rather not cop to, as they find it upsetting. ("Why do people talk about race? It wouldn't be an issue if people would just not talk about it." - something that a co-worker of mine said to me with a straight face, as though a gangrenous infection that runs through our cultural body will get better all on its own.)

The right-wing media machine has been blowing that racist dog whistle long and hard for the past 8 years. Donald Trump was on board early with his birtherism bullshit, but you couldn't throw a rock in this country without hitting a conservative talk radio host or tv host or columnist or twitter egg trying to identify Obama as the Other. That message really landed!

The next big takeaway from all this is that white people don't care what a candidate says as long as he gives them something to believe in. It might be a complete fiction (immigration is not the problem in America, wealth inequality is the problem), but that doesn't matter if it gets people off the couch.

lol you probably thought the key word in that last paragraph was 'believe'. Gotcha, sucker. The key word was the male singular pronoun HE. White America refuses to be governed by a woman. Educated white America, uneducated white America, male white America, and female white America all voted the same way: Trump. Men by a wide margin (~70% Trump / 30% Clinton), women less so (54% Trump / 43% Clinton), but you can see the numbers and results right there for yourself. These facts are hard to reconcile given all the things that Trump said during his campaign. He is not religious, he had little support from the party. If Trump were even marginally qualified for office we could point to other factors. Fortunately(?) for us he is not, and this throws the gender and racism in the system into stark relief. Welcome to America! It's exactly as dumb as it looks on TV.

Look forward to four years of dismantling Obama's legacy on health care, the environment, wealth inequality (rich people are about to get even richer!), gender inequality, gay rights, and more. This country takes one step forward, three steps back. White America is stupid far beyond science's ability to accurately predict. Fuck them, and fuck Donald Trump.


* And unlike Donald Trump , who voted for only the second time in his life in this election; he is seventy years old.

Snowflake draft #3

Here is two snowflakes, quickly processed for Snowflake draft series. Both photos was taken March 19, 2013 - quite late for serious snowflake photography, but that day was cold, and i have nice catch of interesting snow crystals without visible melting:

Snowflake photo: Draft_3-1 (2400 x 1800)

Prints of this spiky cluster available at: Artist website (mirrors at Pixels and FineArtAmerica), RedBubble.com.
Licenses for commercial use - at Shutterstock.com, 500px.com.

I like this cluster of three stellar dendrites with thin and sharp arms, resembling blades. However, it was hard to process: that cluster was captured from non-ideal angle, so it slightly out of focus at top and bottom edges. Also, it lays high over background, touching single wool fibers in one or two points - this visually separates snow crystal from surrounding background and looks nice, but this unstable construction shifts and rotates from every light blow of the wind. I've spent lots of time, until achieved good alignment of all 8 source shots for averaging process.

Here you'll find similar flat cluster with three snowflakes, captured on glass with LED back lighting:

This single stellar dendrite crystal have big central hexagon with beautiful inner structure, though it's six arms is not perfectly symmetrical, if we look closely at their side branches:

Snowflake photo: Draft_3-2 (2048 x 1536)

Prints available at: Artist website (mirrors at Pixels and FineArtAmerica), RedBubble.com.
Licenses for commercial use - at Shutterstock.com, 500px.com.

Here is very first pack of draft snowflakes - catch of December 18, 2015:

If you want to see more snowflakes, you can browse through all snowflake pictures.
Here you'll find snowflake photo wallpapers in numerous resolutions and screen proportions, up to Ultra HD 4K.
And here is article about snowflake macro photography.

Election 2016! PREDICTIONS!!1!ELEVEN!!!

Hilary Clinton is a not a great presidential candidate. I never in my life thought I would consider voting for a Republican president. I am not wealthy by GOP standards. I am not religious. And I am not obviously stupid enough to vote against my own interests. That the GOP promotes and enables religious fanatics and similar idiots does limit my options, but still: Hilary is not a strong candidate. If the GOP could field a decent alternative then they had a real chance at my vote.

The GOP did not field a decent alternative. The GOP trotted out a bunch of clown shoes masquerading as Serious Men of Leadership and Seriousness. The clown that won the party's nomination is historically bad.

There are alternatives to the two mainstream party candidates. These alternatives are also not good. At all. (Hat tip to Jeffy for the video recommendation.)

Is this the best America can do? It seems so, for now. 

In a few days days our long - very, very long - national nightmare will be over. I have no idea who will win, but I do know that an asshole will become president. You heard it here first.

I Have Something I Know That You Want

John Oliver is strong to very strong.
5 minutes of video, but you will need sound.

Nightmare Fuel: Spider Eats a Mouse

YE GODS WHAT THE HELL

This is all over the interwebs (HONK!) but it's worth revisiting here.

Photo shows a huntsman spider carrying off a small mouse that he, you know, killed, and is going to go eat. A bit of take-away, if you will. Take out? Whatever they call it down under. Who cares? Australia is terrifying. Everything there is poisonous. Even the mammals.

Snowflake flash drives from USB Memory Direct

An American company USB Memory Direct specializes in producing USB flash drives with custom shape, color and print on drive's surface, and has been a leader in the industry for over fourteen years. They can make flash drive case from many materials: plastic, metal, silicone, rubber, and even wood and leather. The company offers wide range of drive shapes and designs - more than 50, and will even make exclusive shape, based on drawing or sketch that you'll provide them!

For my order, i instantly selected these twist drives: this nice hexagonal shape is great for snowflake design. For logo background, i've picked silhouette of big snowflake Silverware / Neon.

The result looks even better than i expected. I'm impressed by drives exclusive look:

Snowflake flash drive: angle 1

Flash drives in my order already formatted in FAT32 file system and instantly ready to work.

I like print quality very much: logo printed directly on drive case, it's glossy, have good resolution, contrast and colors, and smooth blue/white gradient in the middle of logo looks perfectly even at magnified photo:

Snowflake flash drive: angle 2

I'm very pleased by drive pack from USB Memory Direct, and certainly will make new orders in the future! I recommend this company for anyone who need custom flash drives with exclusive look and feel.

Pack of 25 custom flash drives by USB Memory direct

Your "Smart" Watch is Disposable Trash

Do You Know What Time It Is?

Let's get this out of the way up front: "Smart" watches are trash. I understand that this is a warm to hot take but I feel good about it. Let's unpack their disposable trash-ness.

Some context: In 1992 I bought a stainless steel (unusual for that time, when most Casio cases were resin) Casio Pentagraph DW-7200. I think I paid the princely sum of $120, which is about $200 today, so it was at the high end of the Casio range, mainly because of stainless case and screw down backing. Browsing the internets it seems that most people bought this thing because it looked cool: they liked the dials on the front (hence: 'pentagraph').

Since then I have replaced the band four or five times, and the battery once(!). It is no longer waterproof to 200M but it has served admirably for the past 20+ years. The only threat to its continued service is my own negligence. At this point it's the most reliable object I have ever owned. If everything else I bought lasted this long then the glorious consumer engine that is the American economy would shudder to a screeching halt. And it looks pretty good for what is now officially a 'vintage' Casio.

Contrast this functional, robust instrument with whatever 'smart' watch you like. This device has almost none of the features you can find on your Series 1* Apple "watch" (no retina display, no bluetooth -lulz, no wifi- lulz, no heart rate sensor, no 'watch os2' - whatever that is). It also doesn't have "up to 18 hours of battery life", which is a very interesting feature to offer in a device that is supposed to report the time and date, and also: are you fucking joking? What kind of asshole buys a 'watch' that can't even tell the time for at least 18 hours?

There are other watches that perform marginally better, but for the most part the pattern is the same. It's a micro-computer that integrates with the mini-computer in your pocket or purse, and in that role it is barely adequate. It does do some things, but you can get all of those things from your phone and a fitbit.

Also, let's be honest about what a 'smart' watch is: it's an excuse for someone to check their email and text messages without getting out their phone. So it gives you a new and novel way to be that asshole that is constantly checking your phone. Congratulations?

Will anyone be using these 'smart' watches in 20 years? Hell no. 10 years? No. Five years? Umm, no. In two or three years they will all be obsolete. And you will buy a new one, and then you have a growing collection of junk watches that won't even be as useful as the early-gen Ipods, which were at least viable as external hard drives.

Please don't buy a 'smart' watch. They are bad and dumb, and you are neither of those things. Right? Right.


* Note that the Series 1 is the old, even more trash version than the new version - Apple loves selling you overpriced disposable consumer items more than anyone. Don't people get tired of planned obsolescence?

LAUTECH Released First Batch of 2016/2017 Admission Lists

The general public, especially UTME candidates, who applied to LAUTECH for
admission during the ongoing (2016/2017) Admission Exercise, are hereby notified that the first batch of successful candidates has been released.

Candidates are advised to check their admission status by logging on to the university's website

http://portal.lautech.edu.ng/fresher/

Best wishes.

Trolley Problem: Solved

Bit late to this but if you are familiar with the Trolley Problem then you will probably enjoy this creative solution. Kid gets a perfect score for fairness; empathy score is, ahhhh, somewhat lower.

Short summary of the Trolley Problem - a runaway 'trolley' is barreling down tracks towards five people. The resulting, inevitable crash will kill all involved. You can intervene by pulling a lever so that the trolley switches to a different track, killing only one person. What would you do?

Trump Sandwich

Much like the man himself - we know it has terrible taste.

Signboards are kind of a theme this week.

This Will Make You Feel Better

If this doesn't make you smile then I can't help you.

PIQUE REVEALS HOW HE WOOED SHAKIRA… BY ASKING ABOUT THE WEATHER

The Barcelona centre-back was impressed by the singer's detailed forecasts from South Africa back in 2010, and resolved to make the World Cup final just to see her again!

Barcelona defender Gerard Pique has revealed that he was bowled over by Shakira's knowledge of the weather when the famous couple had just met.

Pique has been together with the Colombian singer for six years, and the couple have two sons together.

But he recalled that when they first met, he used the most inane small talk to strike up conversation with the pop sensation - and was not prepared for the answer.

"I met Shakira in Madrid, when we were preparing for the 2010 World Cup, and after appearing in the Waka Waka video," he explained to TV3 .

"It all started when we were together in South Africa and I wrote to her. She was already there because she sang in the opening ceremony and I asked her what the weather was like.

The secret behind MSN's success
"It is the typical stupid question, and the normal answer is to tell me to bring a jacket."

Shakira, however, proved to have an eye for meteorological detail that Pique was not quite expecting.

"But she started telling me what the weather was like in every single moment and it got to the point where I told her we would have to get to the World Cup final to see her again - she was singing at the final," he added.

"Once we got to that stage, we might as well win it. We got there and we won."

Source

Microservices: Culture -> Strategy -> Skills -> Tools

(This post is related to a presentation I gave about two months ago on microservices tools. If you don't know what that means and/or aren't interested in it then just ignore. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming shortly.)

I was asked give a talk at a microservices seminar. My job was to cover/demo  the tools used for 'typical' microservices deployments. ('Typical' is a generic term and does not lend itself well to this kind of talk, but whatever.) The tool-specific section of that talk is less important than the overarching themes I explored when I introduced the tools. Specifically, I outlined a hierarchy of dependencies that will enable (or derail) any microservices initiative.* They are, in descending order of criticality:

1. Culture
2. Strategy
3. Skills
4. Tools

Any organization that attempts to adopt a microservices initiative without alignment in all of these key areas will never reach their full potential. At best they will fumble along with intermediate or haphazard success; at worst they will fail spectacularly.

No strategic microservices initiative will succeed without a culture shift. No amount of brilliant developers and their concomitant skills can overcome a weak or antagonistic strategy. And the best tools cannot help you if you don't have the requisite skills.

If you are considering a microservices strategy and aren't sure what tools to use then it is very likely that you have other, more serious challenges. Is your culture in alignment with microservices principles and best practices? Is your strategy in alignment with your culture? Does your team have the skills to execute your strategy? If so, what tools are they most comfortable with?

Of course there are a great many other issues to consider - that's why Amundsen, et. al. wrote a book. Go there for more information, or use the google. It will not take very long to find more information than you ever wanted to know. If that's not enough then I will unpack each of the component dependencies in a later post (get excited!), but if all you take from this is the four key elements then you are off to a good start.

Thanks for reading.



* None of this happens in a vacuum. I adapted the work of the authors of this book along with some interesting and useful strategic thinking from some other hobby interests of mine.

Costa Rica is Nice, You Should Go

Click to Embiggen

Liked my trip to Costa Rica well enough. Had some good experiences, and the yoga was great. I took hardly any photos so the only photo record I have is from my friends that were there at the same time. This is one of those photos.

Having my picture taken is a sadness so as soon as the camera came out I made sure to try and get out of the way. Limited success on the photo-dodge but the result is a good example of how I spent most of my non-yoga time in Santa Teresa and surrounding environs: out hiking or at the beach or on the quad to get to different hiking or beach or lunch spots. Good times.

NYSC 2016 Batch B Orientation Course Starts 24th November - 13th December, 2016

The NYSC has announced that the Orientation course for the 2016 Batch B corp members will start on the 24th of November and run through 13th December (great timing i believe for all prospective corpers).

Also note that schools have started uploading names of successful candidates to the NYSC portal. Visit the site to check if your name has been uploaded.

If your name has been successfully uploaded, don't hesitate to start your registration on the 17th of October (Official date given by NYSC for commencing of registration)

NYSC Batch B Mobilization List 2016 Out- Check List Of Institutions That Has Released Their Senate List

Information reaching us confirmed that some institutions has pasted there list for those that will be mobilized for Batch B from JAMB, We are now using this meduim to inform all Batch B Prospective corp members to contact the Students Affairs Division of their various school to confirm their names.

Below are the list of schools who have successfully pasted their 2016 Batch B List
1. Tai-Solarin University [TASUED]
2. University Of Calabar [UNICAL]
3. University Of Abuja [UNIABUJA]
4. Federal University Of Agriculture Abeokuta [FUNAA]
5. University Of Nigeria, Nsukka [UNN]
6. Abia State Polytechnic [ABIAPOLY]
7. Obafemi Awolowo University [OAU]
8. Federal Poly Bauchi [BAUCHI POLY]
9. Lagos State Polytechnic [LASPOTECH]
10. Ekiti State University [EKSU]
11. University Of Nsukka [UNN]
12. Delta state Polytechnic,Oghara otefe [DELTA POLY]
13. Federal Polytechnic Ado [ADOPOLY]
14. Delta State University [DELSU]
15. Benue State University [BSU]
16. University Of Maidugiri [UNIMAID]
17. University Of Porthacourt [UNIPORT]
18. Benson Idahosa University [BIU]
19. Modibbo Adama University of Technology YOLA [MAUTECH]
20. Nasarawa State University, Keffi [NSUK]
21. Kaduna State Polytechnic [KADUNAPOLY]
22. Enugu State University [ESUT]
23. Kogi State University [KSU]
24. Obafemi Awolowo University [OAU]
25. Federal University Of Technology Owerri [FUTO]
26. Umaru Musa Yaradua University [UMYU]
27. Cross River University Of Technology
[CRUTECH]
28. Abai State Polytechnic Abia [ABIAPOLY]
29. Adamawa State University, Mubi-Nigeria [ADSU]
30. Federal Polytechnic Nasarawa [NASARAWAPOLY]
31. Benson Idahosa University [BIU]
32. Benue State University, Markurdi [BSU]
33. Federal Polytechnic Idah [IDAHPOLY]
34. Olabisi Onabanjo University, [OOU]
35. Gombe State University [GOMSU]
36. Imo State University [IMSU]
37. Novena University [NOVENAUNI]
38. Moshood Abiola Polytechnic [MAPOLY]
39. Michael Okpara University Of Agriculture [MOUAU]
40. Gateway Polytechnic [GATEWAYPOLY]
41. Tansian University [TANSIAN UNI]
42. Osisatech Poly, Enugu [OSUSTECHPOLY]
43. University Of Ibadan [UNIBADAN]
44. The Polytechnic Ibadan [IBADANPOLY]
45. University of Port Harcourt, [UNIPORT]
46. Nuhu Bamalli Polytechnic, Zaria [NUBAPOLY]
47. Crawford University [CRAWFORD UNI]
48. Federal University Of Technology Yola [FUTYOLA]
49. Tai Solarin University [TASUED]
50. University Of Calabar [UNICAL]
51. Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu
University [COOU]
52. Enugu State University [ESUT]
53. Heritage Polytechnic [HERITAGE POLY]
54. University Of Abuja [UNIABUJA]
55. Kaduna Polytechnic [KADUNAPOLY]
56. Sokoto State Polytechnic [SSP]
57. University Of Nigeria, Nsukka [UNN]
58. Ebonyi State University [EBSU]
59. Osun State University [UNIOSUN]
60. Adekunle Ajasin University [AAU]
61. Federal University Of Petroleum Resources [FUPRE]
62. Federal Polytechnic Nekede [NEKEDEPOLY]
63. Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka [UNIZIK]
64. Auchi Polytechnic [AUCHIPOLY]
65. Federal Poly Bauchi [BAUCHIPOLY]
66. Ekiti State University [EKSU]
67. University Of Lagos [UNILAG]
68. University Of Benin [UNIBEN]
69. Igbinedion University
70. University Of Ibadan [UNIBADAN]
71. Lagos State Polytechnic [LAGOSPOLY]
72. University Of Maiduguri [UNIMAID]
73. Usman Danfodio University Sokoto [UDUSOK]
74. Ajayi Crowther University [ACU]
75. Babcock University [BABCOCK UNI]
76. University Of Ilorin [UNILORIN]
77. Kwara State University [KWASU]

We will continue to update the list as we get more information from other schools!!! You can also help us by commenting if your school has also released their list

Van City Beers and Van City Bears

I'm Risk Averse

This is from a couple months ago when I was in Van City. Enjoyed the sign so much I went inside to see what they had in they way of beers. Plus bears are dangerous, and you never know. 

(I didn't see any bears in Van City - I saw a lot of heroin addicts and able-bodied homeless and general street trash but no bears. Go figure.)

Snowflake vectors 2

I've already created two vector snowflake images, trying to make them very similar to original photos. This time i tried different approach: my goal is creating simplified image in just two colors, which represent only most significant details of real snow crystal, traced to smooth curves.

As source images i've picked again large and complex crystal Gardener's dream and small Forget-me-not.

Vector files: EPS and SVG formats, pre-rendered PNG: 8000 x 8000

Prints available at Artist website (mirrors at Pixels and FineArtAmerica), RedBubble.com.
Licenses for commercial use - at Shutterstock.com.

This version shows only highlights of snow crystal's glossy surface on black background:

Vector files: EPS and SVG formats, pre-rendered PNG: 8000 x 8000

Prints available at Artist website (mirrors at Pixels and FineArtAmerica), RedBubble.com.
Licenses for commercial use - at Shutterstock.com.

Imho, these vectors looks quite nice on beautiful girls from RedBubble:

Processing workflow for these pictures is simple: i enlarged each snowflake about 4x times and applied Photoshop filter Image -> Adjustments -> Threshold - it allow to choose level of brightness, which divide picture to black and white pixels: any pixel that darker-than-selected level become black, and any that brighter-than-selected level become white. Resulting picture may look quite nice, but contain very jagged and unpleasant lines and edges, if we look closely. This is not problem, however, because vector tracer will convert every pixelated line to nice smooth curve. Also, i applied second filter: Artistic -> Cutout, which does exactly what i need: it simplifies picture and get rid of all small and insignificant image details. After adjusting filter sliders, picture are ready to vectorize.

This time i used nice, fast and free online service Autotracer.org. I applied these settings: number of colors = 2 and in advanced settings, smoothing="smoother". Resulting curves looks good in high resolutions.

Similar vector version for this small and simple crystal:

Vector files: EPS and SVG formats, pre-rendered PNG: 8000 x 8000

Licenses for commercial use - at Shutterstock.com.

Vector files: EPS and SVG formats, pre-rendered PNG: 8000 x 8000

Licenses for commercial use - at Shutterstock.com.

If you want to see more snowflakes, you can browse through all snowflake pictures.
Here you'll find snowflake photo wallpapers in numerous resolutions and screen proportions, up to Ultra HD 4K.
And here is article about snowflake macro photography.

I Am an International Financier! But Also: Diversify Your Portfolio - Kiva Loans Defaulted :(

I submitted my first loan through Kiva in July 2007, right about the time they blew up on Oprah and got all their loans 100% funded. Since then I have circulated the money to 16 different people, which is quite a few more than the 'average' kiva lender, although this is probably down to the fact that most people loan once or twice and quit out. That's a lot of people to contribute to and help in some some small way.

Kiva provides some useful statistics on your account. Turns out I have been mostly lucky in delinquency rates and default rates, because until recently none of my loans had been delinquent or defaulted.

Now for the less than good news: my luck ran out and I went from a default rate of zero to way past the average when a single organization that was managing a couple of my loans went under and I lost about $100. Sad faces. Per Kiva the average default rate is 1.33%, and my default rate went from zero to 8% overnight. This is disappointing but what can you do? Nothing is guaranteed, life is uncertain, etc and so forth. I'm about to re-lend the money I have in my account now. Let's do this!

LEVENTIS FOUNDATION OFFERS FREE TRAINING IN MODERN AGRICULTURE

LEVENTIS FOUNDATION (NIGERIA) AGRICULTURAL SCHOOLS

Application for Admission to One-Year Training Programme in Modern and Sustainable Agriculture.

The Leventis Foundation (Nigeria) is a charitable company of the A. G. Leventis Group dedicated to the training of farmers in modern and sustainable agricultural practices and rational use of natural resources.

The Foundation has been running agricultural training for youths and farmers since 1987 and currently has six schools in the different agro-ecological zones of Nigeria. The schools located in the FCT, Osun, Ondo, Kaduna, Kano and Gombe states are co-financed by Leventis Foundation and the respective State Governments.

All the Schools offer training to young people (male and female) desirous of making a career in farming.

The comprehensive one-year training exposes the participants to several areas of agriculture and other farm businesses.
The objective of the training, which is FREE OF ALL COSTS, is to create in Nigeria, generations of committed young practical farmers who will act as catalysts for agricultural revolution in their communities.

Admission is open to both male and female candidates. Tuition and boarding (including feeding) is provided free of charge for successful candidates throughout the duration of the course.

Admission Requirements
Applicants should fulfil the following conditions among others;
(a) Be physically fit
(b) Ability to read and write in English (evidence of minimum of junior secondary school may be required)
(c) aged between 18 and 35 years
(d) Pass both written and oral test prior to final selection
(e) Should demonstrate perceivable interest in agriculture
(f) Proof of a farming background is an advantage

Method of Application
Application in applicants own hand writing including concrete information in respect of each of the above requirements together with a letter signed by the Chairman or Secretary of the candidates Local Government of Origin, or an attestation letter from a Justice of Peace (JP), two (2) recent passport size photographs, three (3) references and photocopies of academic qualification(s) or relevant documents should be forwarded to any of the addresses below, preferably, to the school of choice.

(1) Leventis Foundation/Osun State ,Agricultural Training School
Imo, P.M.B. 5074 Ilesa Osun State.

(2) Leventis Foundation/Kano State, Agricultural Training School
Panda, Albasu Local Government P.M.B. 3555, Kano
Kano State.

(3) Leventis Foundation/Kaduna State Agricultural Training School DogonDawa,
BirniGwari LGA, P.M.B1047, Zaria, Kaduna State.

(4)Leventis Foundation/Gombe State Agricultural Training School
Tumu, Akko Local Government Gombe State.

(5) Leventis Foundation/FCTAgricultural Training School,Yaba, Abaji Area Council
P.M.B. 001, Abaji Abuja.

(6) The General Manager (Technical and Training) Leventis Foundation (Nigeria) Ltd/Gte
2, Leventis Close, Central Business District P. O. Box. 20351, Garki, Abuja, FCT.

www.leventisfoundation.org.ng

In addition to the regular one-year training, all Leventis Foundation (Nigeria) schools offer a variety of vocational targeted short courses in several aspects of farming e.g. Poultry production, Vegetable production, Bee-keeping, honey production, Fish farming, Mushroom production etc.

Application deadline is 18th November, 2016

Screening/Examination comes up on Saturday 19th November, 2016

For further enquiries, please contact

Mrs Janet Egbe-Owoicho, Leventis Foundation (Nigeria) Ltd/Gte, Email:leventisfoundation@gmail.com,
Tel: 07085524233

PMB HAS STARTED #5000 CAMPAIGN PROMISED UNDER CCT PROGRAMME

Conditional Cash Transfer (CCT) programme with biometric capture and account opening commenced in Borno camps for Internally Displaced Persons (IDP).

The programme is a part of the scheme under the ‘Social Investment Programmes’ of the government of Muhammadu Buhari.

According to this initiative, one million extremely poor Nigerians would receive 5,000 naira monthly in 2016.

Laolu Akande, the special assistant to the vice president Yemi Osinbajo, clarified that for the Conditional Cash Transfer the money would be paid directly to the recipients through a payment system that was being worked out.

Osinbajo’s aide said World Bank and the Bill Gates Foundation were also cooperating with the federal government to develop an efficient payment system.

“All together, about 60 billion naira has been estimated to be paid out to extremely poor Nigerians,” Akande said in a statement.

In a related development, Governor Fayose of Ekiti state has recently announced the beginning of the implementation of its social welfare scheme for the needy, aged and unemployed.

During the presidential campaign Buhari and his party, the All Progressives Congress, vowed to pay 5,000 naira a month to the unemployed and the poorest youths in the country.

The money that suppose to be evenly distributed amidst all vulnerable Nigerians across all regions is now set for those in a particular region.

This was a result of some individuals from the past that was not doing the needful to their people even though we still praise them as one of the Grandmaster of the independence, yet proper education was not given to them and its now hurting the whole country.

The question now is "was this what PMB promised?"

I thought unemployed individuals will be involved?

HOW TO ACTIVATE YOUR GLOBACOM SIMS FOR 4G LTE SERVICEH

With the help of the post about Glo 4G LTE service published at yesterday, you should have known by now if the Glo 4G LTE network is available in your area and I believed that we are all delighted with the announcement due to the fact that we can still be able to flex with Glo's cheap and affordable data bundles as all their plans works with the 4G LTE network.

The next step is to activate your SIM or mobile phone for Glo 4G network, which is similar to the way MTN 4G is activated.

To Activate Glo 4G LTE Nework
First of all, make sure you have a 4G LTE enabled device.

Then, go to the nearby Glo office and buy a new 4G LTE SIM, get it registered or simply swap your normal Glo sim for a 4G LTE sim.

Once it has been successfully swapped, dial *777# to get any of the 4G available plans.

The Glo 4G LTE sim will work on Glo 4G router or any Universal MiFi available to you, but it will not work on a normal 3G Modem. You can also connect your 4G enabled smartphone via hotspot to your PC.

Glo has made it easier for you to know if your phone is compatible with their 4G LTE network, just text 4G to 400 and you'll receive a message telling you if its compatible or not.

If you have started using the Glo 4G LTE service. Please share your experience in the comments section below.